Kevin Fischer is a veteran broadcaster, the recipient of over 150 major journalism awards from the Milwaukee Press Club, the Wisconsin Associated Press, the Northwest Broadcast News Association, the Wisconsin Bar Association, and others. He has been seen and heard on Milwaukee TV and radio stations for over three decades. A longtime aide to state Senate Republicans in the Wisconsin Legislature, Kevin can be seen offering his views on the news on the public affairs program, "InterCHANGE," on Milwaukee Public Television Channel 10, and heard filling in on Newstalk 1130 WISN. He lives with his wife, Jennifer, and their lovely young daughter, Kyla Audrey, in Franklin.
Personally, I’d prefer a chocolate or marshmallow egg. Peeps are ok, they’re just not my first Easter candy choice.
But there’s no denying their popularity with 4.2 million made every day. People even eat them frozen, dipped in chocolate and rolled in nuts or coconut. They’re called............what else...........Peepsicles.
Thomas Vinciguerra wonders what all the excitement’s about. He wrote in the New York Times two Easter’s ago, “There is something vaguely creepy about Peeps. They are blob-like and ubiquitous. Their eyes have no expression. With little taste, no nutritional value (though only 32 calories apiece) and a shelf life of two years, they hover somewhere between foodstuff and material object.”
Vinciguerra notes there is a real obsession with these little candy creatures, and therein lies the issue with Peeps.
Not everyone eats them.
So then why buy them?
“Devotees use them in decorations, dioramas, online slide shows and other unlikely venues. David Ottogalli, an artist in Washington, D.C., makes sculptures out of them,” writes Vinciguerra.
And that’s not all, according to Vinciguerra.
“On some of the more than 200 Peeps Web sites, you can see fetishists skewering, microwaving, hammering, decapitating and otherwise abusing the spongy confections. In 1998, two Emory University scientists, Gary Falcon and James Zimring, produced what may be the definitive Peeps study. They dunked Peeps in liquid nitrogen, subjected them to 350-degree heat, and put them in a vacuum chamber, among other procedures. The results can be found at www.peepresearch.org.”
But nothing tops this when it comes to an innovative, albeit, unusual adaptation of Peeps All of this is just too weird. Look, if you’re gonna buy ‘em, don’t freeze, drill, hammer, microwave, sauté, boil, shish-kebob, stew, pan-fry, fricassee, marinate, slice, dice, brine, puree, beer batter, chop, blend, bake, flambé, roast, barbecue, baste, whip, shred, or poach those Peeps.
For heaven’s sake, just eat ‘em!
SIDENOTE: Every year, the company that makes Peeps asks different survey questions about the most popular non-chocolate Easter candy. The 2008 questions:
If “PEEPS® came to life, what male public person or celebrity might it become?”
The male person most resembling PEEPS® either in physique, colorful attire, or sweet nature/personality is:
- Will Ferrell won for the 2nd consecutive year with 27.6% of this year’s vote.
- Will Smith came in 2nd--a first time PEEPS® winner.
- Johnny Depp came in 3rd this year, having been 2nd in 2007.
The female celebrity most resembling PEEPS® either in physique, colorful attire or sweet nature/personality is:
- Ellen DeGeneres won, up from 3rd place in 2007!
- Reese Witherspoon came in 2nd .(15.5%).
- Jessica Simpson came in 3rd tied with Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana.
- President Bush came in first (21.3%).
- Hillary Clinton came in 2nd with 16.5 % of the votes.
- Simon Cowell came in 3rd, with 10.5% of votes.
- CHICK with 59% of the vote!
- Smiley Face won with 29.2% of the vote.
- Teddy Bear came in 2nd
- A peace sign came in 3rd.
1) Ketchup on a brat
2) Green peppers on pizza
3) The dirty martini
4) Fruity brats
5) A Bloody Mary after dinner
6) Women “manning” the grill
7) Eating pizza at Festa Italiana, brats at German Fest, or tacos at Fiesta Mexicana. (Be adventurous. You can have those items anytime).
8) Eating a cream puff as though it was a hamburger.
9) Taking your own bottle of sauce when invited to a barbecue.
10) Touching the grill if you’re a guest at an outdoor barbecue.
11) Coaching the host on how to grill.
12) Some regional flavored ice cream…..like black licorice.
13) Taking the husks off before you grill corn on the cob
14) Being afraid to chill red wine
15) Pizza on the grill
16) When serving exotic or strange dishes to guests, do not tell them exactly what it is. Instead, use a more inviting term (caviar) rather than being blunt (fish eggs).
17) In late summer and early fall, this time of year, don’t buy zucchini. Somehow, someway, you will find zucchini or zucchini will find you.
18) Showing disrespect to your restaurant server.
19) Eating out on a Monday night.
20) Pumpkin beer.
21) Mail-order turkey.
22) Grilled cheese is just for kids.
23) Dining in the dark.
24) Ketchup on spaghetti
25) Sneaking healthy foods into treats to get your kids to eat it.
26) Do not throw away culinary gifts received in the mail because you don’t like them.
27) Do not feel guilty about eating Oreos. (Oreos are not to blame for out of control obesity).
28) Doing something so totally ridiculous that you are desperately forced to call the Butterball Turkey Hot-Line for assistance.
29) Don’t forget the sweet potato January-October.
30) Using resource guides from the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s on gracious living to plan holiday parties
31) Eating cranberries, the best of the super-foods, only during the holidays.
32) Egg nog that isn’t spiked.
33) Putting hot spices and other weird stuff in chocolate bars and hot cocoa.
34) Don’t disregard fruitcake.
35) Sparkling wine on New Year’s Eve ain’t champagne.
36) Ordering a Coors Light or any facsimile when at an outdoor open-air bar on a tropical beach.
37) Smoking bans in restaurants and bars in Wisconsin.
38) Goat burgers and healthy items at tailgate parties.
39) The restaurant of the future, with all kinds of cameras trained on you for....research.
40) The Budweiser Chelada
42) Sour cream on potato pancakes, as opposed to applesauce
43) Meatless Monday's
44) Digital dining
45) Tips on what not to do to your waiter
46) If you want a traditional St. Patty’s dinner, as good as it is, corned beef and cabbage ain’t it
* NOTE: THE FOLLOWING BLOG FIRST RAN ON APRIL 5, 2007*
Good Friday, the last Friday in Lent, is the final Friday we Catholics are required to abstain from eating meat. Normally, that’s not a huge sacrifice because most of us eat fish on Friday no matter what time of the year it is.
But something mysterious happens to Catholics on Fridays in Lent, or at least, to this Catholic. There has to be a name for it like tennis elbow. Maybe it’s fish-free-Friday-itis.
Do you know what I’m talking about? I can’t possibly be the only poor Catholic soul afflicted with this annual virus.
It strikes the first Friday after Ash Wednesday. You know there are a million and one places to get a decent fish fry. Hell, Dennis Getto gave you at least 30 suggestions in his column in the paper that morning.
But all you want, all you desire, all you can think about is…………Mo’s……..the old Coerper’s…….Eddie Martini’s………….Yanni’s………………Sabor………..Carnivore………….Mr. B’s…….....Boulder Junction.
I’m talking 100% USDA certified prime choice Angus serve it to me medium rare I want it sizzling overflowing with au jus hey where’s my onion rings on top can I get crumbled bleu cheese it’s what’s for dinner BEEF!!!!!!!
That first Friday of Lent, I swear, I’d rather have liver and onions and Brussels sprouts than beer battered cod, potato pancakes and cole slaw.
Friday night dinners with my wife, I want to shout and scream. THOSE HEATHENS, I mutter and grumble to myself as I see waitresses saunter by with platters of prime rib and filet mignon. THOSE NO GOOD DIRTY ROTTEN MEAT-EATING……………..LUCKY DEVILS!!
Every single Friday during Lent, I’m overcome at lunch by a craving for a Big Mac. And I NEVER order a Big Mac!
No beef jerky, no leftover cold cuts, no Slim Jims, no Sausage McMuffin with egg, no ham on rye, no Jimmy Dean, no chicken dumpling soup, no Swedish meatballs, no Polish meatballs, no meatballs from any country in the universe………AARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE EASTER, PLEASE EASTER COME QUICKLY!!!!!
One question: Saturday morning……..can I get a triple Whopper somewhere for breakfast???
Every year, Slate.com has a group of writers expound on the teams they hate in the NCAA Tournament
Now I understand Wisconsin doesn’t run and gun like UNLV of 1977, dunk like Phi Slamma Jamma, Houston of 1983, or spin the basketball on their fingers like the Harlem Globetrotters. But what did this clean-cut, blue-collar, hard-nosed, disciplined bunch do to generate hate?
Robert Weintraub, a freelance TV producer and writer says this about our beloved Badgers:
Everyone bags on Big Ten football, and appropriately so, but the Midwestern brand of pigskin is easy on the eyes compared with Big Ten hoops: a raft of mediocre teams, plenty of flow-restricting physicality, and, all-too-often, Brent Musberger, looking live from Champaign or Iowa City. The most painful Big Ten team to endure is the Badgers, a team that combines brutishness and blandness into an unwatchable goulash.
I blame Bo Ryan, the coach who has created a top program in Madison by installing all manner of defensive tactics while forgetting the game is supposed to be entertainment. To use a soccer analogy, the Badgers always appear to be playing for a draw but manage to get enough muscled-in offensive rebounds from the likes of Brian Butch to get past the league's weak competition. Wisconsin will muck along in the tournament until it runs into a team that knows how to execute a crossover dribble. Until then, I'll be singing my own version of the Badgers' fight song every time they clog up my TV: "Off, Wisconsin!"—Robert Weintraub
Here’s the entire list of teams that drew disdain from the writers at Slate.
The New York Times has the story of corrupt immigration officials who resort to sexual blackmail.
An Agent, a Green Card, and a Demand for Sex
That’s not so difficult.
Try whipping yourself so intensely that you open up deep cuts and wounds.
How about actually being crucified?
It will happen in the Philippines where health officials are warning penitents who participate in annual Good Friday rituals to disinfect their whips to prevent tetanus.
The BBC reports some people plan to be nailed to crosses:
“In the northern city of San Fernando alone there will be three separate improvised Golgothas - the biblical name for the hill where Jesus was crucified.
Four people there have pledged to have their feet and hands nailed to wooden crosses, while others will flog themselves while walking barefoot through villages.
Sometimes people repeat the penance year after year, like the fish vendor who will be nailed to the cross for the 15th and last time on Friday to give thanks for his mother's recovery from tuberculosis.
With long hair and a beard, wearing sandals and a crown of thorns, he is tied with cloth to the cross but also has nails driven through the flesh of his hands and feet, avoiding the bones.”