This Just In ...

Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea....

Posted by Kevin Fischer on July 29, 2010

If I was invited to Chelsea Clinton’s wedding, I’d seriously think of not showing up.

For years, America was lectured, and rightfully so, to lay off the President’s kid. The offsprings of the Commander-in Chief are and always should be off limits.

Chelsea is now a woman, according to some print publications, a woman that has blossomed into “hot” status. I’m pretty sure that means she is now fair game.

What a selfish boob.

She‘s getting married. Did you hear? Fine. While you generally throw the wedding you want, you still, and I think 99% of couples forget this, think about your guests first.

Chelsea, it’s being reported, is a vegan and has been since her teens. Makes sense. She saw the Bubba gorging on fat on top of fat for years growing up. And she has a gluten allergy. So…..

Vegan menu at her wedding and a gluten-free wedding cake.

Wrong, Chelsea baby. Most of your guests probably aren’t as weird as you.

You should have a decent menu for your guests that’s edible, namely, one that has meat. And you should have a typical mainstream wedding cake. You have the food staff that Bubba and Mrs. Bubba are paying for make you a special dinner and dessert that fit your, AHEM, special (strange) needs.

The way you’re doing it, Chelsea……you’re just wrong. You consider your 3 bazillion guests first, not yourself.

And are the NO CHELSEA restrictions lifted?

They are?

Really?

Good.

And Chelsea……..

You’re really not that hot, either.