Kevin Fischer is a veteran broadcaster, the recipient of over 150 major journalism awards from the Milwaukee Press Club, the Wisconsin Associated Press, the Northwest Broadcast News Association, the Wisconsin Bar Association, and others. He has been seen and heard on Milwaukee TV and radio stations for over three decades. A longtime aide to state Senate Republicans in the Wisconsin Legislature, Kevin can be seen offering his views on the news on the public affairs program, "InterCHANGE," on Milwaukee Public Television Channel 10, and heard filling in on Newstalk 1130 WISN. He lives with his wife, Jennifer, and their lovely baby daughter, Kyla Audrey, in Franklin.
Yes, boy and girls, this is another blog about the fantastic folks at the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources (DNR). Why, they’re so wonderful, did you know that every single employee has taken a Dale Carnegie course??!!
No, I don’t know how many flunked, but does that really matter? After all, they love the air, and they love the flowers, and they love the water, and they love the trees, and they love the birds, and they love the fish, and they love animals. They’re not too thrilled about law-abiding citizens, but that’s okay because……..
So, what draws our attention to the Keystone Kops this time? Well, it turns out the DNR just loves snakes. Poisonous ones. Venomous babies.
From their very own DNR website:
“For centuries, snakes have been misunderstood, under-appreciated, and even heavily persecuted. However, most of us are enthralled with them and our natural curiosity seeks to better understand them.”
From the mighty all-powerful DNR on high:
Listen to us!
We are the all-knowing omnipotent DNR! We know what it is best and what is right!
Afraid of snakes!
Can you imagine.
You just don’t understand the way we do at the perfect world known as….
Snakes are lovely creatures. So they hiss and bite and are venomous.
They’re just misunderstood.
Yes, that’s it, they’re misunderstood.
Snakes are like fine wine and aged cheese. They’re meant to be appreciated. Do you appreciate snakes? If you don’t, shame on you!
You need to get onboard and get with the program because don’t you see? Most of us are absolutely, positively ENTHRALLED with snakes!
So where are we going with this?
The Daily Scoff blogs about the DNR………oh, wait, I love this……..Jim (I’m the biggest DNR butt-kisser in the entire state of Wisconsin) Rowen (a lefty tree hugger to the nth degree) is about to blow his environmental elitist mind when he reads this…
The Daily Scoff calls the DNR: Dangerous Nihilistic Renegades.
Dangerous Nihilistic Renegades
Yeh, yeh, yeh.
Put on some more beads and a fresh pair of sandals and deal with it.
The Daily Scoff reacts to a recent Journal Sentinel article that fawns all over the DNR and its efforts to restore the habitat for venomous Massasaugas snakes. The Daily Scoff has a different interpretation, and I quote:
Using thousands of YOUR federal tax dollars, the Wisconsin DNR (Dangerous Nihilistic Renegades) has begun infesting our public woodlands with poisonous rattlesnakes. Even worse, they’re using thousands of MY federal tax dollars, too. Come to think of it, that’s WAY worse.
“It’s a native species, so we’re trying to restore it,” wildlife biologist Kris Johansen said. “Then there’s the research aspect. There might be some human benefits from them down the road that we don’t know about yet.”
Here’s the thing, Kris. While indeed, there “might be” some sort of “benefit” to rattlesnakes, there “is be” a huge detrimental aspect: they can freaking kill us! Perhaps you were absent that particular day in Biology College when they went over the downside of venomous fangs. I’ll review for your benefit: they’re friggin’ deadly, Kris! Deadly!
Here’s the entire Daily Scoff blog.
Remember, the DNR wanted to fine you and tear down your pier if it was a quarter inch off the new regulations it proposed not too long ago, but it wants to dump more snakes into your back yard.
Oh, they’re a wonderful bunch that DNR. I’m so glad they’re looking out for my welfare, those Dangerous Nihilistic Renegades!