This Just In ...
Kevin Fischer is a veteran broadcaster, the recipient of over 150 major journalism awards from the Milwaukee Press Club, the Wisconsin Associated Press, the Northwest Broadcast News Association, the Wisconsin Bar Association, and others. He has been seen and heard on Milwaukee TV and radio stations for over three decades. A longtime aide to state Senate Republicans in the Wisconsin Legislature, Kevin can be seen offering his views on the news on the public affairs program, "InterCHANGE," on Milwaukee Public Television Channel 10, and heard filling in on Newstalk 1130 WISN. He lives with his wife, Jennifer, and their lovely baby daughter, Kyla Audrey, in Franklin.
Culinary no-no #47
This time of year, the world goes absolutely bonkers over….>
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Peeps.
Personally, I’d prefer a chocolate or marshmallow egg. Peeps are ok, they’re just not my first Easter candy choice.
But there’s no denying their popularity with 4.2 million made every day. People even eat them frozen, dipped in chocolate and rolled in nuts or coconut. They’re called............what else...........Peepsicles.
Thomas Vinciguerra wonders what all the excitement’s about. He wrote in the New York Times two Easter’s ago, “There is something vaguely creepy about Peeps. They are blob-like and ubiquitous. Their eyes have no expression. With little taste, no nutritional value (though only 32 calories apiece) and a shelf life of two years, they hover somewhere between foodstuff and material object.”
Vinciguerra notes there is a real obsession with these little candy creatures, and therein lies the issue with Peeps.
Not everyone eats them.
So then why buy them?
“Devotees use them in decorations, dioramas, online slide shows and other unlikely venues. David Ottogalli, an artist in Washington, D.C., makes sculptures out of them,” writes Vinciguerra.
And that’s not all, according to Vinciguerra.
“On some of the more than 200 Peeps Web sites, you can see fetishists skewering, microwaving, hammering, decapitating and otherwise abusing the spongy confections. In 1998, two Emory University scientists, Gary Falcon and James Zimring, produced what may be the definitive Peeps study. They dunked Peeps in liquid nitrogen, subjected them to 350-degree heat, and put them in a vacuum chamber, among other procedures. The results can be found at www.peepresearch.org.”
But nothing tops this when it comes to an innovative, albeit, unusual adaptation of Peeps All of this is just too weird. Look, if you’re gonna buy ‘em, don’t freeze, drill, hammer, microwave, sauté, boil, shish-kebob, stew, pan-fry, fricassee, marinate, slice, dice, brine, puree, beer batter, chop, blend, bake, flambé, roast, barbecue, baste, whip, shred, or poach those Peeps.
For heaven’s sake, just eat ‘em!
SIDENOTE: Every year, the company that makes Peeps asks different survey questions about the most popular non-chocolate Easter candy. The 2008 questions:
If “PEEPS® came to life, what male public person or celebrity might it become?”
The male person most resembling PEEPS® either in physique, colorful attire, or sweet nature/personality is:
- Will Ferrell won for the 2nd consecutive year with 27.6% of this year’s vote.
- Will Smith came in 2nd--a first time PEEPS® winner.
- Johnny Depp came in 3rd this year, having been 2nd in 2007.
The female celebrity most resembling PEEPS® either in physique, colorful attire or sweet nature/personality is:
- Ellen DeGeneres won, up from 3rd place in 2007!
- Reese Witherspoon came in 2nd .(15.5%).
- Jessica Simpson came in 3rd tied with Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana.
- President Bush came in first (21.3%).
- Hillary Clinton came in 2nd with 16.5 % of the votes.
- Simon Cowell came in 3rd, with 10.5% of votes.
- CHICK with 59% of the vote!
- Smiley Face won with 29.2% of the vote.
- Teddy Bear came in 2nd
- A peace sign came in 3rd.
1) Ketchup on a brat
2) Green peppers on pizza
3) The dirty martini
4) Fruity brats
5) A Bloody Mary after dinner
6) Women “manning” the grill
7) Eating pizza at Festa Italiana, brats at German Fest, or tacos at Fiesta Mexicana. (Be adventurous. You can have those items anytime).
8) Eating a cream puff as though it was a hamburger.
9) Taking your own bottle of sauce when invited to a barbecue.
10) Touching the grill if you’re a guest at an outdoor barbecue.
11) Coaching the host on how to grill.
12) Some regional flavored ice cream…..like black licorice.
13) Taking the husks off before you grill corn on the cob
14) Being afraid to chill red wine
15) Pizza on the grill
16) When serving exotic or strange dishes to guests, do not tell them exactly what it is. Instead, use a more inviting term (caviar) rather than being blunt (fish eggs).
17) In late summer and early fall, this time of year, don’t buy zucchini. Somehow, someway, you will find zucchini or zucchini will find you.
18) Showing disrespect to your restaurant server.
19) Eating out on a Monday night.
20) Pumpkin beer.
21) Mail-order turkey.
22) Grilled cheese is just for kids.
23) Dining in the dark.
24) Ketchup on spaghetti
25) Sneaking healthy foods into treats to get your kids to eat it.
26) Do not throw away culinary gifts received in the mail because you don’t like them.
27) Do not feel guilty about eating Oreos. (Oreos are not to blame for out of control obesity).
28) Doing something so totally ridiculous that you are desperately forced to call the Butterball Turkey Hot-Line for assistance.
29) Don’t forget the sweet potato January-October.
30) Using resource guides from the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s on gracious living to plan holiday parties
31) Eating cranberries, the best of the super-foods, only during the holidays.
32) Egg nog that isn’t spiked.
33) Putting hot spices and other weird stuff in chocolate bars and hot cocoa.
34) Don’t disregard fruitcake.
35) Sparkling wine on New Year’s Eve ain’t champagne.
36) Ordering a Coors Light or any facsimile when at an outdoor open-air bar on a tropical beach.
37) Smoking bans in restaurants and bars in Wisconsin.
38) Goat burgers and healthy items at tailgate parties.
39) The restaurant of the future, with all kinds of cameras trained on you for....research.
40) The Budweiser Chelada
41) Replating
42) Sour cream on potato pancakes, as opposed to applesauce
43) Meatless Monday's
44) Digital dining
45) Tips on what not to do to your waiter
46) If you want a traditional St. Patty’s dinner, as good as it is, corned beef and cabbage ain’t it
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