Kevin Fischer is a veteran broadcaster, the recipient of over 150 major journalism awards from the Milwaukee Press Club, the Wisconsin Associated Press, the Northwest Broadcast News Association, the Wisconsin Bar Association, and others. He has been seen and heard on Milwaukee TV and radio stations for over three decades. A longtime aide to state Senate Republicans in the Wisconsin Legislature, Kevin can be seen offering his views on the news on the public affairs program, "InterCHANGE," on Milwaukee Public Television Channel 10, and heard filling in on Newstalk 1130 WISN. He lives with his wife, Jennifer, and their lovely baby daughter, Kyla Audrey, in Franklin.
Apparently I neglected the new trend that’s all the rage in our fair city, and that’s the PETITION!
Now one could argue that simply signing a form is one of the easiest (or laziest) ways to get involved. But it seems that when you don’t get your way and you’re mad as hell and just can’t take it anymore, the best solution is to run to Kinko’s and run off a bunch of petitions, pass them around and beg for signatures.
So, I thought I’d get in the game and draw up my very own petition. Not formalized yet, my petition would look something like this:
I respectfully request the following, in no particular order:
1) The sun will shine every day.
2) It will only rain at night, when I’m asleep.
3) It will only snow on Christmas Eve while I open my presents, and even that will only be a dusting.
4) Leaves will never fall or blow onto my grass.
5) Little elves will bring my groceries weekly to my front door.
6) The girl at McDonald’s will say to me, “Have a Nice Day,” only if she really means it.
7) There should never be a line at the DMV.
8) Brett Favre will never retire.
9) There should always be an open bar stool at the Cheesecake Factory.
10) Wine corks will never crumble.
11) Geese will never leave presents on my driveway or lawn.
12) Any Franklin elected official who votes for a tax increase must relinquish his/her first-born.
13) Ka will start a delivery service.
14) Franklin police officers will tell speeders they pull over to, “Try not to do that again.”
15) No one in front of me in line at Pick ‘n Save or Sendik’s will be allowed to wait until the check-out person gives the final total to then pull out a checkbook and start writing.
16) My favorite radio stations will not be allowed to play commercials all at the same time.
17) Ditto…my favorite TV stations.
18) I get a dollar every time someone says any of the following to me:
“Don’t you just want to smack Joel McNally?”
“What’s Mark Belling really like?”
“Hey, are you that guy….?”
19) Every kernel in microwave popcorn will pop.
20) As punishment for her dismal career, Sue Huhn must pay my Franklin school taxes for the next twenty years.